The Bolster

Doubt seized me
suddenly, seeing you.
I had not thought—
on such a monsoon day,
in such a solitude,
you would come so far ahead,
only to return again
along the old road,
Sunanda—was it you?
 
Since you have come,
listen then to my new thoughts:
I love knowledge,
you know that.
And in my bed there are many,
each day Madhuri,
and my deception
hides nothing at all.
 
I too love solitude,
to live alone,
to celebrate the inner festival of life.
Meeting you again like this,
so suddenly,
broke every promise I had made.
 
The crowd where my mind is lost—
alone,
it never lingers long.
It clings like a bolster,
the love that clasps me,
through the silent exile of forests.
For a thousand years
women have come to me.
 
And Sunanda, so you have too.
You have dreamed again,
yet you have not learned—
as I have learned—
to live upon the path of self-surrender,
to ride upon the chariot
of self-love.